Dear editors of io9,
As a regular reader of your pop culture and science fiction blog, I’ve become increasingly disappointed by your repeated coverage of UFO hoaxes and Alien Invasion conspiracy silliness. Before unsubscribing forever from your blog, I would like to know in which of the following outlandish theories I should also believe:
1. You are writing inflammatory articles to drive hits.
Perhaps these articles net you a lot of hits. I’m sure you’re stealing a lot of valuable traffic from the weekly world news. Congratulations on your incredible click-through victory, and the complete void of integrity that you are now filling with money.
2. You are a sincere UFO believer.
It stikes me though, that your UFO coverage may be less than a cynical pageview ploy. You may, as educated people, actually believe that what you’re covering is news. If so, how do you choke down your own logical bile when you are asked to an attention grabbing headline like “A UFO dips over São Paulo before unleashing a plasma burst,” as if it’s factual, and then are also asked to write apologetic content that amounts to “Is this a hoax?” Yes, it’s obviously a hoax. You’ll notice that when you write factual articles, you don’t have to use question marks or write sentences that call your own headline into question.
3. Your boss is a dick.
There’s a third, most likely option here that i’ve been ignoring. You’re just a person with an idiot for a boss. I’m sorry he’s making you write about this stupid shit. I’m sorry you’re embarrassed. Stay embarrassed. But pass along to your employer that I’m going to stop reading this blog because of all this unsubstantiated alien and UFO coverage. Just wanted you to know every time you post one of these you’re waving goodbye to your credibility. (Also, your boss is human literate trash.)